paul mann

Don't remember the Alma. Can remember me mam walking is up to the Co-op at the Top End when the National Health nurse came and doled out cod liver oil and orange syrup. Had to line up with the other kids and get a spoonful. Naturally they gave us the cod liver oil last.

Aye, Raisbecks. Leavin' Netherton Village School one day ah shit mesel an' decided ah better wahk yem. Haffway ti West Lea the bus stopped an' the Raisbecks driver tried ti get is on the bus. It took a few minutes like ti convince him ah was happy wahkin'. Ah think ah did iverybody on the bus a favah.

The Santa Paradox can only be explained by the existence of a multiverse in which 91.9 million universes exist, each with its own Santa and only one address for each Santa to visit. In which case 38 hours would be plenty of time for Santa to visit only one address. And because the multiverse is infinite 91.9 million universes would be an insignificant fraction. Stephen Hawking agrees with me.

Best Christmas I ever had as a kid was when my parents got is a bike. It was a green Christmas so I took it out and rode it around the oval at West Lea. At the bottom of the oval was another kid. Naturally I had to show off. "Look what ah got for Christmas," I said. "No you didn't," he said.

Merry Christmas to all.

Wee can mind the free paper cracker that used to come wi comics like Lion, Tiger and the Beano? Two pieces o' cardboard with a folded sheet of paper atween them ye could jerk wi ya hand te mek a loud crack.

No link this end.

Wee can mind the lops?

Hoo many ivery day expressions have vanished from wa lingo? Like tosh? Var vorsatile, like. Ye could use it for a porson and shoot te somebody: "Hey tosh."  Or "a load of tosh" could mean a load of rubbish. And clot. A polite way of telling somebody he was either daft or had just done something daft. "What a clot." And what aboot "A load of ahd tripe". When was the last teym any o' wi hord that? 

I don't consider this a site for self-promotion so I'll only do this once. For those who might be curious about my writing career you can check it all out at pauljmann.com 

Well done, Canny Lass. We lived through so much history now gone forever.

Wee can mind the rag and bone man that used to come roond the hooses wi's horse drawn cart? The wimmin would give him some rags and get claes pegs back. And there were knife sharpeners and onion johnnies on bikes. The onion johnnies were supposed to come from France an' ah remember thinkin' that was an awful lang way to come wi' a few strings of onions hangin' from ya handlebars.

Or flowers. Can anybody mind them ahd grave decorations that were stone floowas under a glass dome? I can mind them in 'the semmy', one of the ahd parts of the cemetery at West Lea.  Are they collector's items now?

Our youngest daughter has been working at a pub in Richmond. We Skype with her regularly and she told me she had a customer who was a bit grumpy and would only be served by her. Bloke in his mid to late 50's she reckoned. Because she sounds like a yank he asked her how she could work in the U.K., and she told him her dad was a Brit. Where from the bloke says? He's a Geordie, she said. From Bedlington. She said he got tears in his eyes. He was from Bedlington, he said. She told him I wrote a book called The Leek Club all about the leek shows in the 1950's and he got quite emotional. He hadn't heard those words in years and they brought the memories flooding back. So he read the book and when he next went in he said it was just how he remembered it. What are the odds?

Gully, guillotine, gullet - seems like there should be a connection.

Seems too simple, I thought it would have Norse origins. But my trusty Oxford Dictionary says a gully is indeed a large kitchen knife - origin unknown.

From your Esso Blee Dooler.

Does anybody knah the origin of the word 'gully' for kitchen knife?

Wee can mind when iverybody had a garden or allotment? Tetties and cabbage were popular - somebody wrote a book aboot leeks - and soot could get rid of catapillas. Ah divvent mind tomatoes though, they mighta been a bit exotic.   

 Ah remember couped ya creels as cowked ya creels. Might be variations based on hearing or area.

Fogot aboot the euclids. Weel done High Pit Wilma.

Knights in cardboard box crests - that was ootright sophisticated. Hahd on a minute here. Joustin on bikes wi claes props for lances an' dustbin lids for shields - am I just imaginin' it or did that really happen?  

Wee can mind playin' cooboys and Indians at the ahd oppin cast pit? Nowt dangerous aboot that.

Forgot about the term 'dog ends.' So many things disappearing. Remember me mam saving the coupons from Embassy cigarettes. I think she saved up 2 million and got a tin opener.

Di they still mek Capstan Full Strength?

Wee can mind tha forst tab? Ah was a late starter at 13 but ah loved Gold Leaf. And di folk still nip the end off a half smoked tab te mek it into a dump and stick it ahint tha lug?