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Food You Only Get At Christmas


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The register of festive fare. The stuff you only buy in your pre-chrizzo "big shop". Yes, of course the turkey, the cranberry and the chipolatas, but what about the trimmings.

Nuts - who buys nuts, other than bags of peanuts, at any other time? Neebody, that's who.

Ritz or Tuc crackers. Got to get a box of them bad boys.

Dates. Dates? wtf?

Pickled Onions. That'll be a big masseeve jar of pickles as well.

Matchmakers. Someone will always get you a box of matchmakers. It's a law of nature.

Tangerines/Satsumas/Clementines/Mandarins. Who knows which is which? Who cares.

Selection boxes. The only time you ever eat a "Turkish Delight" or "Fudge"bar.

Parsnip. Sexually-confused vegetable that doesn't know if it wants to be a carrot or a turnip. Weirdo.

Odd cheeses. From those variety packs/cheeseboard selections you get. There's always a stinking thing wrapped in gold foil that you eat for a laugh when you're whacked off your gourd on snowballs and bottled french lager. Not recommended.

Any more?

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The register of festive fare. The stuff you only buy in your pre-chrizzo "big shop". Yes, of course the turkey, the cranberry and the chipolatas, but what about the trimmings.

Nuts - who buys nuts, other than bags of peanuts, at any other time? Neebody, that's who.

Ritz or Tuc crackers. Got to get a box of them bad boys.

Dates. Dates? wtf?

Pickled Onions. That'll be a big masseeve jar of pickles as well.

Matchmakers. Someone will always get you a box of matchmakers. It's a law of nature.

Tangerines/Satsumas/Clementines/Mandarins. Who knows which is which? Who cares.

Selection boxes. The only time you ever eat a "Turkish Delight" or "Fudge"bar.

Parsnip. Sexually-confused vegetable that doesn't know if it wants to be a carrot or a turnip. Weirdo.

Odd cheeses. From those variety packs/cheeseboard selections you get. There's always a stinking thing wrapped in gold foil that you eat for a laugh when you're whacked off your gourd on snowballs and bottled french lager. Not recommended.

Any more?

Come on CK, roasted parsnips are spot, and indeed, on.

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The register of festive fare. The stuff you only buy in your pre-chrizzo "big shop". Yes, of course the turkey, the cranberry and the chipolatas, but what about the trimmings.

Nuts - who buys nuts, other than bags of peanuts, at any other time? Neebody, that's who.

Ritz or Tuc crackers. Got to get a box of them bad boys.

Dates. Dates? wtf?

Pickled Onions. That'll be a big masseeve jar of pickles as well.

Matchmakers. Someone will always get you a box of matchmakers. It's a law of nature.

Tangerines/Satsumas/Clementines/Mandarins. Who knows which is which? Who cares.

Selection boxes. The only time you ever eat a "Turkish Delight" or "Fudge"bar.

Parsnip. Sexually-confused vegetable that doesn't know if it wants to be a carrot or a turnip. Weirdo.

Odd cheeses. From those variety packs/cheeseboard selections you get. There's always a stinking thing wrapped in gold foil that you eat for a laugh when you're whacked off your gourd on snowballs and bottled french lager. Not recommended.

Any more?

its not a food, but there used to be quite alot of christmas real ales, the ones you thought about havin before deciding against it

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Biarritz chocolates - can you still get them?

Turkey - who in their right mind eats turkey any other time of year? It's as dry as sticks.

Port - gout in a bottle.

Mulled wine - it's against nature.

Geet big tins of chocolates - just buy a couple of Dairy Milk bars - more choccy, less cash.

Advocaat - howay man, it's made out of eggs.

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Further to the Advocaat theme, I just purchased some Co-op lemonade (51p for 2 litres, from, er, the Co-op) and am now drinking me down some Snowball.

By jingo, why wasn't I told earlier how good dem Snowballs taste? Man alive, they is good.

No wonder the craze of Snowballing seems to be sweeping the nation.

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Further to the Advocaat theme, I just purchased some Co-op lemonade (51p for 2 litres, from, er, the Co-op) and am now drinking me down some Snowball.

By jingo, why wasn't I told earlier how good dem Snowballs taste? Man alive, they is good.

No wonder the craze of Snowballing seems to be sweeping the nation.

Just added your blog to SU, wait and see :D

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Further to the Advocaat theme, I just purchased some Co-op lemonade (51p for 2 litres, from, er, the Co-op) and am now drinking me down some Snowball.

By jingo, why wasn't I told earlier how good dem Snowballs taste? Man alive, they is good.

No wonder the craze of Snowballing seems to be sweeping the nation.

Must admit Snowballs are canny, a regular tipple at twisty !*!@# 's house when lager/wine has run out. Well it's either that or !*!@# Dooley's.

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