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To maintain truth in advertising the lasagne product line is being over-stamped as Findhaus.

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Waiter, waiter, is there any chance that this beef lasagne could contain horse?

A chance in a million sir... it always came in last!

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I was in a restaurant in Cockneyland last week and I asked the chef if there was any horse meat on my plate.

He went off in a rage and said he was certain there was no gee gee on my dish, in fact he would bet there wasn't - he said he would put a pony on it.

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It had to happen! An on-line Horse Consumption Calculator


A horse is not beef, of course, of course,

And no one would eat horse of course

That is, of course, unless the horse is the Findus Mr. Ed.

Go right to the sauce to mask the horse

It'll give you the taste that you'll endorse.

He's always in the pasta course.

Fork to Mr. Ed.


...and the best one so far:

My doctor says I should watch what I eat, so I've got tickets to the Grand National.

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The Romanians have employed Gordon Brown as PR consultant. The latest line from Bucharest is that it's a global problem!

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The Tory High Command were so fed-up with Owen Patterson's performance as Environment Minister in charge of the neddyburger scandal that they had his DNA tested and it came back as being 100% donkey.

I think you will find the whole cabinet is like that.

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