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  • 1 month later...

A presentation by Jason Russell from the Newcastle Astronomical Society, giving a brief history of astronomy, an explanation of distances in space, what equipment to use and an introduction to astro-photography – suitable for all the family!

Drinks and Food will be available prior to the presentation at www.herdinghillfarm.co.uk licensed cafe from 6.30pm and the presentation will begin at 7.30pm.

This is a FREE event, but booking for the presentation is essential (limited to 25 persons) go to: http://stargazingevent290313.eventbrite.co.uk.

http://www.northumberlandnationalpark.org.uk/visiting/whatson/eventhighlights/northumberland/stargazing-for-beginners!?SQ_CALENDAR_DATE=2013-03-29

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  • 7 months later...

Comet ISON is approaching amigos. Could be a fantastic event or a damp squib. Or it could slingshot around the sun and smash straight into Earth with all its debris. Watch the skies...keep watching the skies.

Is it black and white with a hint of blue and green, with wings, about 15inches tall and beady eyed? If so, it's just landed in a tree in my back garden. Should I inform NASA?

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No Merc', that's the archangel Terry Dactyl. He preceeds the comet and warns the inhabitants of Earth to mend their ways or else he'll steer ISON into our path - all in the name of a benign, all-loving God, of course. The fact that he has landed in your garden might have something to do with your lifestyle. Redemption is at hand...or is it afoot!!!

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My lifestyle, Keith? I'm a clean living boy, me!

Even worse, Merc', that means you've been selected for the Rapture. You should be a sinner like the rest of us. You see Comet ISON is really a UFO. It's inhabitants have come to Earth to take all the righteous, clean-living schmucks back to their own world which is full of beautiful naked women who want to procreate. You're doomed, Merc', I'm sorry to be the one who informs you of this horrible future. If only you had thought unclean thoughts they would have left you alone; if only you had guzzled down beer and other intoxicating toxins they would have passed you by. This time next month you will be speeding through the stars towards a world full of nubile girls who will pander to your every whim - just because you are a clean-living boy. Sorry, Merc', but life's a bitch and then you get Raptured. Adios amigo. Think of God, the Queen and Bedlington and not necessarilly in that order.

Edited by keith lockey
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  • 1 month later...

hey Keith, glad you're here. I bought a telescope recently, and am disappointed to find out the moon is not made of cheese. Should I complain to the manufacturer, or the sneaky eBay seller?

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hey Keith, glad you're here. I bought a telescope recently, and am disappointed to find out the moon is not made of cheese. Should I complain to the manufacturer, or the sneaky eBay seller?

 

Trade Description Act, Merc', take it to the top man - G. He created the Universe and Earth and the Moon, it says so in Genesis. "And the Lord made the moon out of Gorgonzola and it was harvested by Klangers." 

Mind you it may be camouflage! Those Reptoids who have a base on the dark side might have initiated some kind of cloaking device so that instead of looking at craters of camembert or mare of mozzarella you are actually seeing moondust which is totally uninviting. (That's why we stopped going there - the cheese consortium wouldn't finance the apollo missions.) But don't be put off, go see a priest and ask him what the big G has done with the moon - after all, he is the big cheese up there.

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Northumberland National Park and Kielder Water and Forest Park have been awarded Dark Sky status:

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-25297684

Just posted this on Synergy thread:

http://www.bedlington.co.uk/audioarchive.html/_/gary-fildes-kielder-observatory-r14

 

Well done Kielder!

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